The Real Truth About Forgiveness

Forgiveness is often spoken about as if it’s a single step, a quick decision, or a “must-do” for your healing. You’ll hear people say, “Just forgive—it’s good for you.” But the truth is, forgiveness is much more tender, layered, and personal than that.

I believe in forgiveness deeply, but I also believe in allowing yourself the time and space to get there. Society places so much pressure on us to forgive quickly, almost as if we can bypass our very real emotions for the sake of appearing healed. But real forgiveness is never performative—it’s not about looking like you’ve “moved on.” It’s about arriving in your own time, with honesty and authenticity.

Forgiveness has no timeline. It cannot be rushed, forced, or demanded. Just because someone says, “It will help you,”doesn’t mean you’re ready—or that you should be. True forgiveness happens when your body, mind, and heart soften into it. It is not about doing it for others, or because it’s “the right thing to do.” It happens when you’ve reached a quiet place of knowing inside yourself.

And here’s the paradox: when you stop pushing yourself to forgive, it often comes naturally. Without resistance. Without the need to explain yourself. Without performance. Instead, it arrives as a soft release, a quiet healing, and a gentle exhale.

Forgiveness is not a destination you can sprint toward—it’s a natural unfolding. And when you are ready, you’ll know.