Redefining Romance: How to Reframe Love in February

I love my Galentine's

I used to think Valentine’s Day was all about romance and finding a partner to fulfill this fantasy of chocolates, roses, and feeling deeply connected in love. For many years, I bought into that ideology because it seemed like what I was supposed to be doing. Even as I was raising three kids, I thought it was important to celebrate one day to showcase our love for each other. It was what I would describe as the old Disney theme—the shining knight on a horse carrying me away to a happily ever after.

Now, I view love so much differently. I see that I can’t attach love solely to another person. The only love that truly exists is the relationship I have with myself. Everything in life aligns with who I am at my core. Love stems from me and only me. Knowing this, I have chosen to dedicate more time to loving myself and caring for myself.

I remember a Valentine’s Day years ago when I felt a little empty, even though I was surrounded by love. That was a wake-up call—why was I measuring love by one day rather than how I felt every day? That realization changed everything for me. Now, instead of waiting for someone else to make me feel loved, I take responsibility for my own love. I nurture myself, listen to what I need, and remind myself daily that love is not about grand gestures—it's about how we show up for ourselves in small, meaningful ways.

So when Valentine’s Day rolls around this year, even though I have someone special in my life, it doesn’t define my experience of love. I don’t like the idea of one day symbolizing the love I share with someone—I prefer the whole package, 365 days a year. While I understand it’s fun to play and enjoy the moments, it’s also important to remember that love is not confined to a single day. Love exists in every moment, in every day, with no boundaries for how that looks.