Worthy of More

Healing the silent shame around joy, abundance, and being enough.

One of the biggest shifts I’ve experienced in my life is how I view myself. For a long time, I didn’t realize how much I was looking outside of myself — using comparisons to define what was “normal” or acceptable.

It wasn’t malicious. I never looked at others in envy. I’ve always known I was a little different, especially in my family. I still laugh about it — when I’m with them, I stand out. My fashion sense is more about comfort than couture, while my family effortlessly rocks designer looks. Somewhere along the way, I just didn’t catch the style bug.

To be honest, I do own some beautiful items. But I often felt guilty about enjoying them. I believed abundance made me less grounded. There was shame tied to being fortunate — like I didn’t deserve ease or luxury because I hadn’t “earned” it through struggle.

That mindset started to shift about five years ago. Financial hardship forced me to let go — I sold off designer pieces I had held onto, kept only what I actually used, and stopped buying things altogether. I told myself I didn’t deserve to spend it on myself. I cared for my kids and the home, but I didn’t invest in me. And that withholding wasn’t just about money — it was about worth.

When we don’t feel worthy, we unconsciously deny ourselves joy — not just in material things, but in everyday pleasures. A concert ticket. A night out. Even rest. We martyr ourselves, thinking sacrifice equals responsibility. We carry shame, blaming ourselves for hard times. That shame, often rooted in old childhood stories, becomes a silent saboteur.

But healing taught me otherwise.

Through self-inquiry, conversations, and support, I began to see I wasn’t broken. I was simply human. Sometimes life doesn’t make sense. Sometimes we carry what’s not ours. And the path to peace isn’t outside — it’s within.

This healing wasn’t just emotional — it was energetic.

Every time I told myself I didn’t deserve joy or ease, I was sending out a frequency of lack.

And it wasn’t until I started clearing that energy — through inner child healing, energy work, and self-compassion — that I began to shift what I could receive.

The guilt I held wasn’t mine to carry. The shame had an energetic weight.

Today, I honour my worth not just in words, but in how I tend to my energy — with rest, joy, and permission to receive.

I no longer compare my growth to others. I track it within myself. I don’t need to draw on others’ struggles to justify gratitude. I just am. I feel peace in knowing I am worthy — of joy, of love, of abundance. Not because of what I’ve lost or survived, but because I exist.

So if you’re reading this and resonating — here’s your reminder: you’re worthy. Not when life is perfect. But right now. Let your healing be gentle. Let it be yours.